Fandom: Dragon Age Inquisition
Summary: Evelyn wishes Cullen would see her. He wishes she could see him.
Notes: 3670 words. First in a series of mostly unconnected fics based on Girls Aloud song titles for no apparent reason. Patrons get to read it a week early.
Evelyn Trevelyan had one real wish.
She wished Cullen could see her.
Or, more specifically, she wished Cullen could see her as a woman over the Inquisitor. Wished he saw the rest of her body and not just her hand. Wished he saw her body over her mind, over her ability to lead.
Evelyn certainly saw Cullen beyond his ability to command the Inquisitions forces.
Sometimes she only saw that.
When they were in the War Room, or in the training ring, or the mess hall. She only saw his body and what she could do to him. What he could do to her. She really struggled to concentrate sometimes, but then, she had never been one for focus.
She spent long minutes and longer hours watching the way his scar moved as she spoke but didn’t hear the words. Saw thy way his fingers wrapped around the pommel of his sword but was never entirely sure what caused him to do so. Saw the way he moved as he walked, long purposeful strides – every step having intent.
Everything he did was careful, meticulous, thought out before hand. Evelyn wanted to make him lose control.
Because every word he said to her was as carefully thought out, planned down to the very syllable. No slip ups, nothing impulsive, nothing random. She didn’t inspire him to stutter like he did when Leliana flirted with him. She didn’t make him blush like when Josephine complimented him. She couldn’t ever get close enough like Cassandra to comfort him and calm him. Could only dream of completely shutting his brain down like Sera when the archer said pretty much anything.
Evelyn received slow careful words.
Evelyn received no feeling.
She wanted so desperately for him to see her. Her mother would call it pining, her father would try and deny it was happening. Her sisters would try and get every little detail out of her.
But she didn’t have any of those people and she didn’t have Cullen.
Oh but she wanted him.
Lips and abs and arms. Legs and ass and hands.
Once she had seen him topless in the courtyard. She had been pretty sure she’d lost all sense of composure, running off to her chambers flustered before she had lost all sense of decorum as well.
Once Cullen had caught her topless – had apologised quietly before turning away, slipping down the stairs quietly as she finished dressing.
Evelyn often wondered if he noticed how much he affected her and that was why he was so distant and focused on her station. On her position as the Inquisitor. Sometimes she wondered if he actually couldn’t stand her. Or that he found her physically repulsive but not Leliana, or Josephine, or Cassandra.
Perhaps she needed to be more forward, blunter, more obvious.
Maybe she needed to find someone else pretty and blonde to get him out of her system. Someone else to fuck. Then maybe she could see past his physical appearance and that shock of heat wouldn’t hit her every time she saw him and an entire day with him wouldn’t leave her wet and wanting and wasting her time.
Maybe then she could actually talk to him without wanting to jump him.
She was pretty sure one day she was going to crack.
Cullen Rutherford had one real wish.
He wished Evelyn could see him.
He certainly saw her, but he wasn’t anything more than the leader of her army to Evelyn. All she saw was his past as a Templar and his experience as a commander of soldiers.
Sometimes when he saw her, all he saw was her, Evelyn Trevelyan and not the Inquisitor.
When they were in the War Room, or in his office, or inspecting the troops down in the main camp. He only saw her body, her face, what he could do to her. Would she could do to him. He had always been able to focus, but between Evelyn Trevelyan and the Lyrium withdrawal, he really struggled.
He wasted long minutes and longer hours sitting at his desk thinking about the way her eyes shone when she laughed, the way her lips curved when she smiled. Thinking about the way her she ran her thumb over the palm of her hand where the mark was at its most intense. Saw the way she fought when she sparred in the yard, the way she moved with complete grace.
Everything she did was graceful, perfect, delicate. Cullen wanted to make her lose control.
Because every action was carefully constructed, everything done perfectly and planned out, down to very step. No slip ups, nothing impulsive, nothing random. He didn’t inspire her to flirt like she did when with Krem. He didn’t make her laugh like The Iron Bull. He couldn’t ever get close enough like Cassandra to comfort her and console her. Could only dream of completely making her lose it like Sera when the little elf started talking about sex.
Cullen received careful words and actions
Cullen received no feeling.
He wanted badly for her to see him. His brother would call him pathetic, his sister Rosalie laugh at him, his sister Mia would push him to do something about it.
But he didn’t have his family here and he didn’t have Evelyn.
Oh but he wanted her.
Lips and breasts and hands. Legs and ass and hips.
Once he had seen her topless in her chambers. He had managed to turn around and apologise, getting down the stairs without falling over, blushing bright red and unable to look her in the eye for the rest of the week.
Once Evelyn had caught him topless – and had run off without a word, looking angry and annoyed as she headed back into the main hall.
Cullen often wondered if she noticed how much she affected him and that’s why she was so short with him, so quiet and obsessed with his job. On his position as the Inquisition’s Military Advisor. Sometimes he wondered if she couldn’t actually stand him. Or that she found him physically repulsive but not Krem or Bull or Cassandra.
Perhaps he needed to be more forward, blunter, more obvious.
Maybe he needed to find someone else curvy and brunette to get her out of his system. Someone else to fuck. Then maybe he could see past her physical appearance and that shock of pleasure wouldn’t hit him every time he saw her and an entire day with her wouldn’t leave him hard and desperate and failing an exercise in control.
Maybe then he could actually talk to him with wanting to jump her.
He was pretty sure one day he was going to crack.
For Evelyn, the moment came when she walked into his office and was nearly hit in the head with a small wooden box.
Cullen looked across at her, breathing hard and flushed and she had never seen him angry before, had never seen him so worked up before. Or at all. He was bent over his desk, palms flat down on it, staring at the paper there and trying to control his breathing. Evelyn was both aroused and anxious over this side of him.
“Sorry, sorry,” he said, “I didn’t see you there.”
“Are you okay?”
He wasn’t, that much was clear and she came further into the room to wait for his answer.
“I…am struggling a little,” he said, finding his composure again and she frowned. “But I will manage.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, standing opposite him, watching him breathing slowly, in and out, chest moving beneath his armour. The way he put himself together so quickly whenever she was around was frustrating but she had seen it, seen him lose control.
Knew it was possible.
Maker, she wanted to jump him even more.
Now was not the time though. Not when he was vulnerable like his, hurting, struggling.
Maker, she was a terrible person.
“If you need anything you will tell me, won’t you,” she said. “You can tell me.”
“Thank you Inquisitor,” he said quietly and the moment had passed.
She left him alone, tripping on a broken floorboard as she did so. She chuckled to herself and wandered out onto the battlements.
She wished he could see her. Wished he could confide in her.
She wished she could make him laugh, and smile, and fall apart in her arms. Wished she could see him. All of him. Strip him of his armour and his defences. Oh to be that woman. To be the woman who would take him apart and put him back together again.
It gave her hope.
If only if she knew what to do next.
For Cullen the moment came as Evelyn left the office.
As she tripped on a loose floorboard on the way out of his office.
Cullen watched as she stumbled out onto the battlements and she flushed a little, and he’d never seen her embarrassed, never seen her so uncoordinated. Or at all. She straightened up, and turned around to look at him, smiling. Cullen was both aroused and amused at this side of her.
“Inquisitor?” he asked.
“Oops,” she said, smiling at him brightly and he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her look embarrassed, disappearing from view as the door swung close behind her. For a few brief moments she had not been graceful, had lost control. A moment of imperfection and Cullen had forgotten his headache and the desperation was tempered down to a simple desire.
Desire for lyrium warring with his desire for Evelyn.
Which was becoming normal for him.
She wasn’t all grace and perfection and he found some comfort in it, a little hope in it.
And she did care, even as he brushed her concerns aside to reassure her he was fine. He hadn’t been fine, but he did feel better, feel like he could be fine. Because even if he couldn’t (and wouldn’t) have lyrium maybe he could have her.
He wished he could have more
Wished he could make her laugh, and smile, and fall over into his arms. Wished he could see her. All of her. Strip her of her armour and her defences. Oh to be that man. To be the man who would take her apart and put her back together again.
It gave him hope.
If only he knew what to do next.
They went looking for each other that night bumping into each other in on the Battlements between their respective bases in the fortress.
Evelyn swore when she bumped into him, Cullen almost fell over, and they frowned at each other before chuckling nervously.
“I was looking for you actually.”
They both spoke at the same time, both blushing red, both chuckling.
“Please,” Cullen said, “You first.”
“Not here,” she said, urging him back towards his office. They walked across the battlements side by side in silence, the wind whipping around them as they went. He held the door open for them when they reached his tower, and she headed back into the warmth, standing by his fire. He came to stand by her, warming back up with her and smiling shyly.
“What did you want from me?”
Another blush, and she stuttered over her words and he wondered exactly what he had said to cause that reaction. She looked away for a moment trying to compose herself, suddenly unsure of how to proceed. In finding him she had lost some of her confidence and she hadn’t really had a plan.
“How are you feeling now?” she asked.
“Better, yes, thank you.”
“What is it you wanted me for?” she asked, hoping for a little more time and Cullen flushed red and she tried to figure out what had caused it.
Perhaps embarrassment over her mentioning his state this afternoon.
“I, wanted…” he hesitated, suddenly unsure of what he should say to her. “I wanted to apologise, for this afternoon.”
“No need Commander, no one can really understand what you’re going through and if you need to throw stuff then that’s fine.”
She smiled again and he felt a little lighter, his heart a little lighter. Feeling a little warmer all over. She was beautiful, inside and out, truly.
The smile that grew, stretching his scar, was gorgeous and Evelyn only just managed to keep her sigh in. Only just managed to keep from jumping him. He was beautiful, inside and out, truly.
They stood before the fire for a few minutes longer, not talking, just enjoying the warmth. She was tempted to leave, give up on this foolishness, but when she turned to face him, looking up at his golden eyes she couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak.
Then he was kissing her.
She kissed him back, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him against her, hearing him groan, the noise muffled against her lips.
Her soft lips.
He had kissed her, unable to take much more, wondering if he should ask her to leave, or if she needed something else, or if he should just go to bed. He had kissed her because he’d turned to face her, looking down into her green eyes and couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak.
So he kissed her.
Evelyn was kissing back, hard and hungry and moaning ever so slightly, pressing her entire body against him. He wrapped his arms around her to try and pull her closer, moving them over to his desk slowly, step by step. He tripped and fell into a chair, laughing as he did so and reaching out for her. She took his hand and let him pull her into his lap, straddling him and pressing their hips together with a groan.
“Cullen,” she murmured.
She didn’t continue, kissing him again hands gripping his shoulders, her breasts pressing against his chest and her hips moving ever so slightly against his. Minute rotations that he could feel from his dick and up his spine and Maker he wanted her. More and more with every kiss and every movement.
“I thought,” she whispered, kissing over his jaw and down to his neck, “you didn’t see me.”
He chuckled, fingers finding the straps on her armour and pulling them free, pulling her breast plate from her body and throwing it aside.
“I only see you,” he told her, hands cupping her breasts through her tunic and he wondered if he should stop, if they should stop, but then she was pushing herself into his touch, her own hands working at the buckles of his own breastplate.
“Cullen,” she moaned as he circled a nipple through her tunic, and he smiled at her.
“You are beautiful,” he told her, pulling away to tug at the tunic, lifting it up and over her head, throwing to the floor. He unravelled her breast band with a little more care and when she was topless before him, he leant her back in his arms slightly so he could look at her.
So he could see her.
He took a moment to enjoy the way her breathing had become a little ragged, to enjoy the way the flush spread down to her chest. To enjoy the way her nipples hardened. He dipped his head then taking a tight peak into his mouth and she cried out, clutching his head to her body. He smiled against her breast, swirling his tongue around her nipple and she pressed her hips closer to his in response.
Maker the things he could do.
Evelyn hadn’t felt this alive in months. Years. The way people look at her, like she was untouchable, but not Cullen, not any more. Not now with the way his mouth engulfed her and the pleasure raced through her.
“Please,” she groaned and he pulled back briefly, only to lean forward and close his teeth gently around her other nipple, her entire body jerking in his lap. “Please.”
He wasn’t sure what she was asking for, wasn’t sure even Evelyn knew and he worked at the ties of her breeches, pulling them loose enough for him to push one large hand into her small clothes. Evelyn gasped at the feeling of his fingers stroking through her folds, Cullen groaning when he felt how wet she was.
He ran a thick finger over her clit, Evelyn moaning as he circled it gently, pressing down now and then, the pleasure building and her body giving in to the feeling.
“Please,” she whispered, unable to get her voice to work properly, or her mind to figure out exactly what she wanted.
She rejoiced as he slowly inched his finger into her body, groaning at the heat and squeeze of her. Evelyn dropped her head down onto his shoulder, hips pushing forward onto him, feeling him deeper inside her and she relished having him inside her properly, hot and hard and oh she wanted more. So much more.
She reached between them, running her own dainty fingers over the hard ridge in his breeches, smiling when he groaned, hand twitching, finger crooking and pressing inside her and she wanted to see him. More of him.
Wanted him to see her.
She moved back, his finger slipping from her as she stood before him, flushed and smiling.
“I want you to see me,” she said quietly, not meeting his eyes as she pulled her breeches and small clothes down, stepping out of them. She blushed a little, bending over to help him out of his own clothes and tossing them aside. She looked over his body, smiling, making him blush with embarrassment. He was perfect.
“I only ever see you,” he told her, pulling her back down into his lap. She groaned, straddling him once more, his erection sliding over her clit and through her slick folds. “Only you,” he groaned, hands on her hips to move her back and forth over his dick.
“Please,” she cried, her body starting to shake a little from the heat rolling through her.
He lifted her up slightly grabbing his erection and pressing it to her entrance, her body trying to take him in, trying pushing down onto him. He held her still though, her eyes closed and she whined when he wouldn’t let her move. He chuckled, leaning forward to kiss her again.
“Please Cullen,” she moaned, “please.”
He loosened his grip and let her sink down onto him, her body squeezing him as he pushed into her.
“Maker,” he breathed, lips still pressing against hers. “You are…” He couldn’t quite finish the sentence as she settled in his lap, taking him in completely, pressing deep into her body. She couldn’t quite get enough air as she scrabbled at his chest and shoulders for purchase. He took her wrists and placed them on his shoulders and she gripped them hard, moving her hips slightly.
He chuckled, the sound broken as she moved again.
“I only see you,” he whispered, “all of you.”
She moaned and started to move with a little more confidence, a little more desperation. His fingers dug into her hips and he helped her, lifting her up and pulling her back down. His cock dragging in and out of her body, Evelyn feeling every part of him and she cried out.
“Hu-Harder,” she breathed and he kissed her, thrusting harder up into her body as she met his movements. Their hips slammed together as the pleasure raced through them. She had wanted this for so, so long and now she had him, had everything.
If only she could come.
He kissed her again, fucking her harder, his hips rising up off the chair to force himself as deep into her body as he could. She started to cry out with every inward thrust, sounding desperate and wonderful. He growled when he felt a hand leave his shoulder and moving between them, pressing down on her clit lightly. Her fingers brushed over his erection as he slid in and out of her and Cullen grunted.
“Please, please, please,” she whined, and he placed his larger hand over hers, pressing his fingers down on her clit and making her scream.
He felt every muscle in Evelyn’s body contract and relax, inside and out, squeezing him over and over and he kissed her, yelping when she bit down on his lip. Evelyn felt her orgasm edge over then crash through her, another scream escaping her as she came hard around him. Cullen didn’t stop moving, couldn’t stop moving, thrusting up into her with all of his strength, making her cry out again, over and over until he came inside her, shouting her name, shouting to the Maker, just shouting.
“Cullen, Cullen, Cullen,” she chanted and his hips jerked up into hers sporadically as he emptied himself. She sobbed as she felt another orgasm build and burst, small but powerful, racking her body as he collapsed back in the chair.
Evelyn couldn’t stop the sobs as she dropped her head on his shoulder again, leaning heavily against him, breathing hard. He wrapped his arms around her and cradled her close, shushing her gently.
“Evelyn, Evelyn,” he murmured, “are you okay?” he asked.
She managed to look up at him, tears in her eyes but smiling.
“Yes, perfect, yes.”
She kissed him once more, slow and sweet and he felt like sobbing himself, something inside him slowly coming apart.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he told her.
“Really?” she grinned. “Me too.”
“I’m an idiot.”
“Yes, so am I.”
He kissed her.
“I see you Evelyn. All of you. Only you. And only want to see you,” he told her.
“Then let me show you everything,” she said, standing up and turning around to climb up the ladder. He smiled at her, watching her behind as she went up into his loft.
“Wishes do come true,” he said to himself.